Normally I wouldn’t bother making a post about something as mundane as uninstalling software. It is, usually, simply a matter of ‘clicking uninstall’. Except in this case, I couldn’t find an uninstaller for Bonjour anywhere on my system.

I’d noticed a couple of odd slowdowns that hadn’t occurred before so I was looking through running processes and noticed mdnsresponder.exe there. A short hunt later revealed it to be part of the Apple Bonjour service. Now there’s a good chance I didn’t read some license somewhere that told me something was going to install Bonjour, so I blame myself for that. Nevertheless I don’t want it on my system, so I set about removing the beast.

If you’ve found this because you want to remove Bonjour too, then BE CAREFUL because you might severely incapacitate your computer if you aren’t

• Download LSPFix
• Open a Command Prompt
• cd “\Program Files\Bonjour”
• mDNSResponder.exe -remove
• Remove all references to mdnsNSP.dll from the Windows Registry
• Remove all references to mDNSResponder.exe from the Windows Registry
• Reboot
• Delete C:\Program Files\Bonjour

Now, you might be lucky and everything might be absolutely fine. It wasn’t for me though. Massive pauses on startup, many services on my machine failing to start (including sound, network, and others). My computer was basically unusable online or for much else.

After much searching using a spare machine, I found links to LSPFix mentioned above. After running it, and rebooting, my machine was back to normal.

Was I just unlucky? Perhaps… but I don’t think I’m the only one. Apple–. Ugh.

Too glorious for mere mortals. (…and autostarting, so I didn’t put it inline.)

There’s magnets, and then there’s magnets

A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much.
She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you’re a great guy, but I don’t like you in that way.

This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we’re not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we’re going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn’t work out, we’ll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.