The Shouty Track

here!

Found on http://maddox.com

The Internet is Serious Business

The FLIP research vessel (Floating Instrument Platform) is the only ship in the world having the ability to flip from a horizontal position to a vertical position while at sea.

I want one of these for christmas please.

Miller

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v/c3FZtmlHwcA

Just as this article’s headline predicted, you clicked on it and are actively reading this article. Now, you are reading this very sentence. At this point, you are amused by the concept of this joke, but are skeptical as to how it can continue for more than just a few sentences. According to high-placed sources, your skepticism is quite valid.

While many would have stopped reading by now, you are still here. Your eyes are moving left to right across the screen, and then dropping down after each line – much like the little spaceships in the video game Space Invaders, which, incidentally, you used to play as a kid. Your English reading skills are being put to a test right now, but it’s a breeze for you; your 1st grade elementary school teacher added, “You were a great student and mastered reading at an early age.”

The latest wire reports are now saying that you are sitting at home, but CNN is reporting that you are, in fact, at work. You are the only one who can clear up this confusion. Meanwhile, you are wondering why this article seems to repeat certain words a lot, but then you realize that there are no synonyms for the word “you.”

This article is intriguing you because it is written in a 2nd person perspective; much different from the 1st person or 3rd person narratives you have previously encountered in your reading career. The personal attention given to you in this article is pleasing, yet a little scary. It’s okay–let this self-referential report soothe your senses. And don’t let this self-referential sentence blow your mind.

Since you are currently visiting a Wiki site, you may be tempted to fix the spelling mistake in this passage, but you will refrain from doing so becuase the mistakes are intentional. In an ironic twist of fate, fixing the typos would be an act of vandalism of your part. This also makes you wonder how, if at all, you would be able to listen to this article via a podcast.

It is uncertain whether you have yet looked at the picture to the right

High ‘awww’ factor.

Plaintiff sued the Jena 6 for “Loss of My White Rights” and sought $100 million in white gold and the White House. Plaintiff alleged that defendants hung a white noose in his cell at FCI Willaimsburg, told the FCI Williamsburg dentists not to fix his white fillings, fed him tainted White Castle hamburgers, turn his cell mate into Snow White, called him the white Suge Knight, burnt him with Great Whites pyrotechnics, made him suffer whiteouts, gave him white phosphorus, subjected him to low white blood cell counts, and that Vanna White won’t write. Defendants also allegedly turned plaintiff into a white collar criminal and sent Whitehouse prosecutors after his white skin.